Emoticon for innuendo: &-)

Do you often find yourself in a situation where you are using some kind of word play in a written (chat or text message) conversation, but feel that you need to make this second level of comprehension clear? This is why emoticons exist: pictorial representations of a facial expression using punctuation marks and letters, written to express a person’s mood. Emoticons were already used in the 18th century and adopted with mucho gusto in electronic communication since 1982. These days, if you don’t know that a “:-)” means that the writer is happy, you’re missing a lot of the meaning of SMS or emails.

It doesn’t stop there, there is also the :-p tongue-sticking-out, the %-) I’m-so-drunk and even *<|:-) Santa Claus. But there is one often-used ironical level that I find is not well covered by the ;-) I’m-only-joking emoticon, and that is the dangerous stylistical weapon called innuendoan indirect remark about somebody or something, usually suggesting something bad, mean or rude. We need an emoticon that says if-you-know-what-I-mean-wink-wink-nudge-nudge in 3 characters. I hereby propose the …

&-)   = if-you-know-what-I-mean

  • “My parents are coming over tomorrow and I still have to dust off the silverware &-)” = have to clean up dishes for the last 2 weeks and remove all clothes from the living room
  • “Can’t talk right now, my girlfriend is here and we’re studying &-)” = no actual studying is done
  • “Is your wife a goer? &-)” = say no more

What could be a proper response to a &-) ? Depending the recipient’s sense of humor:

  • &-D oh-I-*know*-what-you-mean
  • &-O OMG-you-didn’t-just-say-that-did-you
  • &-? not-really-sure-what-you-mean
  • &-/ I-get-it-but-am-not-that-amused
  • &-( this-is-totally-inappropriate-and-I-am-disappointed-in-you

I think there is also one variation necessary for the most versatile joke on earth: that’s what she said! This is expressed with &-)! – as in “make sure it’s long enough” > “&-)!

And to end, I leave you with this: Uncyclopedia’s definition for sexual innuendo. Just don’t read it aloud in the office.

TL;DR:

  • &-) if-you-know-what-I-mean
  • &-D oh-I-know-what-you-mean
  • &-)! that’s-what-she-said!!

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