OK, they’re both talented guys, I have no doubt about that, but it’s obvious that Microsoft also took some esthetic criteria into account. I think Steve Ballmer thought: let’s steal back some of that female marketshare from Apple. So expect in the future:

• the Coolz0r Macho Mouse (with authentic stubble and force feedback)
• Office 2007 “Female Student edition” (with the special “Miel at the Gym” clip-art collection and the here-let-coolz0r-do-that-for-you-honey blogging wizard)
• Windows Vista “Cool Premium” Edition (with instruction-DVD by Miel and a ’slow mode’ for blondes)

In any case: I wish Miel fascinating times at Microsoft!

PS: Bart, me, Miel … Anyone else moving?

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Sarah Brown is a free-lance writer from NYC. Judging from her blog, Que Sera Sera, she’s the kind of woman you’d like to have on your team in any verbal combat. Switching back and forth between self-mockery and sarcasm with the occasional pinch of misanthropy, she transform the small bumps in her life into amusing tales of (kind of) good and (mostly) evil.

She also hosts a reading series Cringe in New York: “brave souls come forward and read aloud from their teenage diaries, journals, notes, letters, poems, abandoned rock operas, and other general representations of the crushing misery of their humiliating adolescence“.

In the next part she details her advanced seduction skills:

Originally it was just me being rude, but now that I know where it’s coming from, it’s combined with a powerful middle school urge to hide in a closet whenever I see him coming, and if I can’t, I just say the meanest thing that pops into my head. I get fucking flustered and I hate it. For some reason, he keeps talking to me, but I fear that if it ever progresses to the point where he goes for the lean in, I might end up breaking his kneecaps before I can stop myself. This makes me nervous when he tries to make small talk, and then I end up blurting out things like, “What, were you raised in an orphanage?” And I don’t say this in a playful or sarcastic way: it comes out of my mouth in this disdainful, curt tone like I am seriously insinuating that his parents gave him away when he was an infant because they didn’t want him. But oh man, apparently I do.
from queserasera

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This is a quote from a conversation she had with a Hungarian carpenter, while on holiday in Ireland, standing just outside a bar (obviously).

“What do you do in America?”
“Well, I don’t live in America anymore, I live in Belgium – in Brussels.”
“Brussels is a nice place. Not have I made a visit there but I have friends who visit.”
“It’s a nice place. I like living there. I am a writer but nothing as impressive as working for a newspaper. My writing is only on websites and in brochures and catalogues.”
“But that is still writing. You like writing?”
“Yes, I do. I like it very much. One day I hope I will write a book, but it’s progressing slowly.”
“It goes and you must go on doing it. It will be finish one day.”
“What is your book about?”
“I want write— I want to write a book called IRISH SUMMER.”
“I like the title. Where does it come from?”
“It will write about the summer in Ireland that all of the people are speaking about coming, even though, it never comes.”
I laughed and asked him about his life as an expat in Ireland (collecting expat stories is my obsession.) My friends came outside to announce that we had to leave. One of them handed me my pint and dared me to down it in one go. Their sudden presence added to the ambiance of our discussion: that living far from our native countries gives us the advantage of viewing people and places from a different and often interesting vantage point. (I downed the pint, no problem, I am also part Irish.)
from havedaydotcom.blogspot.com

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The first blog is written by Ingrid Coppé, the director of the short film “Another Day“. She’s currently working in New-Zealand on some movies. She has a very sharp sense of humour and doesn’t take herself too seriously. And she’s Bieke’s best friend.

Here’s a record of a conversation she had on LAX airport, when picking up a ringing payphone.

- Hello?
- Hi, Is Andrew there?
- Euh, I don’t think so, I don’t know, there is probably one Andrew here, but I don’t know.
- Is this 818 564 784 (ok; the number might not be the number he said,.. so sue me, what am I, Rainman???)
- Euh, I don’t know. You called a payphone in the transit area of LAX. I am waiting for my plane to New Zealand.
- Oh, New Zealand? I lived in Queenstown for a while. Have you ever been to Queenstown?
- Yes, a few weeks ago on vacation.
- Isn’t it the most amazing place? I loved it.
- Yes, it is pretty wild. Quite expensive though, but lovely, I want to go back there.
- You definitely should, I would love to go back there too.

ANNOUNCEMENT THAT WE CAN GO BACK TO THE PLANE.
Silence.

- Listen, they just made an announcement. I have to go.
- Yeah, I heard.
- I hope you find Andrew.
- (laughs) Have fun in New Zealand
- I will, thanks.

And in a split second I think: Was that the man of my life that I just hung up on?

from ingridgoesnewzealand.blogspot.com

PS: the title of the post is a reference to “She good fighter” a monument of belgian lesbian fighting film history *chuckle*.

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First one is Maryam, Robert Scoble’s wife. I met her briefly when the Scobleizer visited Brussels in December, but I had no chance to talk to her since I had to leave early, and she was totally absorbed by Coolz0r. She struck me as a much warmer and kinder person than the ‘materialistic’ list below would suggest.

1) He can fix your computer
2) He has friends who can fix your computer
3) He can hook up the TV, connect the DVD player and Tivo your favorite programs
4) He has friends who can hook up the TV, connect the DVD player …
5) He can fix your friends’ computers
6) He’ll make you shine every where you go (basically because he has no sense of style)
7) Your geek will give you the hottest techie gadgets
Your geek will worship the ground you walk on
9) He won’t cheat on you either
10) Did I mention he can fix your computer ???
(for details, check maryamie)

Let’s say I score a 8/10 on this one.

And then Tara from Riya whom I met at LesBlogs and is a real girl geek (clever, witty and always wireless connected to something):

Picture from Tara @ Flickr

1. They want the best new the best and biggest of everything
2. They order stuff online
3. There are multiple ways to ‘connect’ with a geek
4. Not only can they ‘fix’ stuff, but they can teach you to fix stuff
5. You always know what your geek is up to
6. You can do a full-on background check of him very easily
7. When they do dress up, they’re so hot
9. Geeks try a little harder
10. Geeks are more patient
(for details, check horsepigcow.com)

Here I definitely score somewhere between 9 and 10.

And via tangogarden I found this very funny list Emily Hambidge wrote in June 2005 about her Apple/Ruby developer boyfriend:

Picture from Emily @ Flickr

1. When projects have a deadline approaching, all plans are tentative.
2. Your body/sex appeal are nothing compared to the power of a processor.
3. You will NEVER be the Apple of his eye.
4. Profanity is his friend.
5. If you love him you will be standing by with a lot of caffeine.
6. There is no rest for the weary.
7. Rubies and Pearls are not what you think.
8. One screen is never enough.
9. if (loveBoyfriend = 1 ) {learn();}
10. There is nothing like being the one there when he completes something new.
(for details, check emilyhambidge.com)

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• 6: is he free (not married, no girlfriend)?
• 6: is he over his previous relationship?
• 5: do you feel like you could grow old together and still have stuff to tell each other?
• 5: does he enjoy sex (or as one of the authors phrased it: can he get it up)?
• 4: does he have a job that interest/challenges/thrill him?
• 4: is he pleasant company in the morning (kind of objective: he should talk little/not be too depressed/not be too jolly/not be horny)?
• 3: if he has kids, does he have an easy/trouble-free settlement?
• 3: is he not a colleague (terribly annoying once the affair is over, it appears)?
• 3: is he clean (like: take a shower at least once a day, change underwear regularly)?
• 2: does he like (to provide) surprises?
• 1: can he cook?

Which is fairly optimistic compared to What Women Want at ages 22, 32, 42, 52, 62 and 72

What Women Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

Technorati: girls

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Who is Meshell? A small black woman with a deep groovy voice and by far one of the funkiest bass players around.
I’ve been a fan of hers since 1993, when her first album “Plantation Lullabies” came out. She was funky, gutsy and tongue-in-cheek (“If that’s your boyfriend, he wasn’t last night”). I saw her live and she rocked. When she laid down a bass groove, the place exploded. Man, she could play! In the follow-up album “Peace Beyond Passion” (1996), she used the Old Testament as inspiration. As unsexy as that may sound, it was also an excellent album, musically exploring the borders between jazz, funk and R&B and with strong lyrics. The 3rd album, “Bitter” (1999) was exactly what the title suggests: tales of grief, deception and lots of heart ache. Who ever broke her heart, did it really thoroughly. The music was also very slow, dramatic and, to be honest, depressing. I didn’t buy any of the later albums, Cookie (2002) or Comfort Woman(2003) after that.

I was however really looking forward to seeing her again live last year. But instead of steaming funk or intimate ballads, we got ‘free jazz’. She had brought a new band of “avant-garde” musicians. It was an endless cacaphony of jazz masturbation. The only moments the crowd actually enjoyed, were those when the Queen of Wicked Bass took the front stage and showed that she still had more skill in her right thumb that the rest of the band together. Unfortunately those moments were few and short.

At least when Spinal Tap played its “Free-Form Jazz Exploration“, it was funny.

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The full list in Esquire was:

1. Angelina Jolie
2. Halle Berry
3. Britney Spears
4. Jessica Simpson
5. Beyonce
6. Charlize Theron
7. Jennifer Aniston

Errm … Britney? 3^rd most sexy woman? My take on this: put Charlize on 1, Beyonce on 2 and send the rest shopping!

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