Size doesn’t matter

Sometimes a spam mail escapes my filters and shows up in my inbox. Last week I got a “Enlarge your …” mail with some girl’s name in the From field. I deleted it right away but subconsciously I had already read some of the content. So I went back and retrieved it from my Deleted Items just to be sure: they really talk about “enlarge a penis up to 10 cm“? (UPDATE: I read this as 10cm TOTAL length, not 10 cm EXTRA length)

First off: as a straight guy I have no practical knowledge of what average size a girl has to put up with these days. Nor am I about to disclose my own dimensions (I want women to like me for my personality). Nevertheless, 10cm or 4″ strikes me as rather short, certainly as an ideal to be reached by taking pills. For those who cannot estimate dimensions: that’s the height of a cheap Nokia phone (the 1100, say).

Just to be sure, I checked the numbers provided by Alfred Kinsey:
Average penis size
Average size 6.17 inch or 15.6 cm (for caucasian men); virtually none below 4 inch. (For Ine, 156mm, that’s the length of a Nikon Series E Zoom 70-210mm lens)

So why was the spammer using these ridiculous measurements? I have 2 theories:

  1. to make even the most miniscule endowed men feel good about themselves (“I don’t need no pills to get to 4 inch! I just have to think about Pamela Anderson! And not drink for an hour, that’s the hard part.”)
  2. an author that is either not familiar with both the metric and imperial system (is there a third?), either not familiar with the English language or just too lazy to re-read the whole message.

At the other side of the spectrum of well-hungness, I once heard the story that in WWII the CIA was planning to distribute XXL condoms in Germany that were labeled “Made in the US. Medium size.”. They never executed it, so no telling what the effect on the war would have been. Unfortunately I can’t find any web page on that topic. Anyone?

💬 spam